I thought I was saving a kitten nearly two years ago, but she has been a soft and fluffy teacher.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
This very short story is about my first visit to an Oahu beach, and discovering a silly game with some local young ladies.
This is a summary of key statistical concepts I started in 2000, and refined through 2015.
Resign from the NRA
NRA Member Services
11250 Waples Mill Road
Fairfax, VA 22030
To Whom It May Concern,
I joined the NRA 37 years ago because I was a hunter and believed in the right of responsible people to enjoy firearms. Over the years I have watched the NRA descend into blatantly partisan politics, as exemplified by the speech by Wayne LaPierre at CPAC 2018. I thought the NRA was all about the peaceful use of firearms by civilians in the United States, not petty, bigoted, childish, name-calling. Labeling everyone you fear as ‘socialist’ is a century-old political ploy, and I seriously doubt Mr. LaPierre has any idea what socialist really means. For starters, it’s completely irrelevant in terms of civil rights.
The NRA has consistently failed to propose any viable solutions to reduce the risk of dangerous people getting access to firearms. The recent endorsement of arming elementary school teachers is downright absurd. Do you seriously expect a 50-year-old third grade teacher will confront an armed homicidal teen? Jumping on the ‘bad guy is mentally ill’ bandwagon is no better. Why is this argument never used against non-white terrorists? Are they all miraculously sane, but white terrorists are to be pitied and slapped on the wrist?
The NRA does some good in terms of firearms safety training and supporting shooting sports, but that’s not enough to ease the profound shame I feel of being associated with it.
Therefore, I am cancelling my Endowment – Life membership, effective immediately. Good bye.
Skydiving accident description
This essay describes a skydiving accident I experienced this year which resulted in a tree landing, and a broken leg. It is presented to help others avoid similar errors and get additional feedback from instructors as to how I could have handled it better.
Salon piece, November 2014
Preparation and porn
November 18, 2014
Backstory: In April of last year I came out here as transgender, only two weeks after realizing it myself. Four weeks from today I go in for gender confirmation surgery, so supportive thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Meanwhile, these four short stories continue to overshare the very rapid changes in my life, and some unrelated experiences with my girlfriend.
I finally came out at work formally. After appearing on a panel to discuss transgender discrimination, it was obvious that I was completely out, so the next week I met with my Dean. He said he had no problem with however I wanted to identify, as long as my work was done well. He wasn’t shocked, and explained that ‘he had worked around a lot of musicians.’ People at work have been very supportive, and now I’m known there as Jennifer. (pause)
One evening as we snuggled in bed, my girlfriend started stroking my hair and face and body. Pure simple touch, tracing the features of my face, caressing my neck, petting my firm shoulders, circling my fledgling boobs. I finally made eye contact with her and saw her eyes gazing softly at me as she continued petting my body. (speed up) I caught myself running away mentally, I was thinking of anything but what I was experiencing in the moment. (slow down) I dragged myself to the present moment, and tried to open up to her, and found myself in inexplicable fear of staying present. I could not face being the only focal point of attention, being subjected to pure receiving of such simple sincere affection. How messed up is it that I only feel comfortable giving to another, and have trouble accepting the gift of pleasure? (pause)
I previously mentioned my girlfriend’s penchant for inappropriate pillowtalk, which has freed me to be equally politically incorrect. This makes for a dangerous combination, as the next two stories describe.
I had to stop taking hormones a month before surgery because they affect blood clotting. This will make me hormone-free, so my girlfriend logically concluded I should be organic and free range as well. This led her to the concept of the ‘free range tranny.’ Picture this Monty Python skit: (hushed British voiceover) Here we are in the plains near the Cherry Hill Mall, and we have finally found a flock of free range trannies. These appear to be females, as you can tell from their elegant plumage and because they spend most of their time playing with their breasts. Generally quite peaceful, almost placid, these free range trannies can become severely agitated by questions such as (hick voice) “Can I help you SIR?” or “Are you a boy or a girl?” (pause)
We were fucking happily one night. She was straddling my hips, focused on grinding her clit against me, searching intently for just the right angle for the most pleasure, when her red hair kept dangling in her face and distracting her. As she brushed it away for the third or fourth time, it became a comical distraction for both of us, and she mused that she needed a hair net to keep it out of the way. We had been discussing preferences in porn shortly before this encounter, and this, combined with the distraction, led us to imagine a severely underappreciated genre of porn. Lunch lady porn. Mercifully we did NOT compose a full story, but here are some lines to get you started. So to speak.
- “I didn’t have any money, but I already knew how *I* was going to pay for MY lunch.”
- “The sweat running down her face from the deep fryer was nowhere near as hot as she was going to be in a few minutes.”
- “I couldn’t wait to peel those beige support hose off her firm legs.”
- “As she licked the shaft of my cock, I tenderly tucked the stray strands of hair back into her hairnet.”
- “The slab of mystery meat hitting my tin plate sounded just like my hips slamming against her wet pussy.”
Thank you, and I apologize.
Open letter to Governor McCrory in North Carolina
March 24, 2016
20301 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-0301
Re: Impact of House Bill 2
Dear Governor McCrory,
I am appalled by your rushed signing of House Bill 2.
Allow me to introduce myself briefly. I have earned three engineering degrees (BS, MS, PhD) from some of the finest universities in the United States, and have over 18 years of experience in the aerospace and defense industries, plus over 12 years in academia. I am an Associate Professor of computing at a fine private University on the East Coast.
As a direct result of you signing this Bill, you can be assured that:
- I will not look for employment or housing in North Carolina
- I will not attend a professional conference in North Carolina
- I will not go on vacation in North Carolina
At most, I might drive through your state and have to stop for lunch before going someplace else. Why?
Because I am a transgender woman.
You have refused to educate yourself on the most basic aspects of the Bill before you, and instead insisted on signing one of the most patently offensive pieces of legislation since the Patriot Act. Transgender people have a lower incidence of committing crimes in a bathroom than US Senators. Most of the time we’re simply trying to avoid getting beat up for having to pee like anyone else. Is that asking too much?
Trans questions from a friend
A cis-gendered friend just got the nerve to ask me about being transgender. With her permission, her questions and my responses are presented here.